Triple Shot Weekend Review

This weekend's happenings were both awesome and highly relevant to the interests of the Squidlair.

Friday
I went cityside to Baltimore's Landmark Theater. Apparently these theaters are a chain, but I'd never have been able to tell. The place was well-kept and offered an open bar in addition to the usual assortment of overpriced candy and soda. What film was I there to see? Only the best and latest by Bruce Campbell-- My Name Is Bruce. Watch the trailer below if you're going to question the awesome.

And the film itself was indeed killer. Nothing like the B-movie actor's B-movie actor riffing on himself and his career. But to make matters even more sweet, Bruce gave a short Q&A afterwards to the audience in the theater (he's touring the country with the movie in tow).

Bruce: Okay, we're gonna play a little game here. I'm going to turn my back, and you get to yell your least-favorite movie I've been in.
Dude in Audience: ALIEN APOCALYPSE!
Bruce: Every damn show, there's some asshole who says that. Now look (digs through wallet)...if I gave you, say, three bucks...would that be enough to wash the memory away?
Dude: YES!
Bruce hands three bucks to security guy, who relays it to Dude. Crowd cheers.

It was amazing to see Bruce both onscreen kicking ass and making fun of himself and then in person making fun of the audience. Sure, he was a little dickish...but if you had to deal with the fanbase he does on an all-too-frequent basis, you would too.

Saturday
The oft-mentioned Celebrated Summer Records is not only a fantastic record shop, but also an occasional DIY venue. Saturday, they hosted Japan's own Mind of Asian-- four adorable girls thrashing their way through lightspeed hardcore punk. Local sXe dudes Mindset opened-- good energy, but not so much my thing-- as did New York's folk-pop-punks Unwelcome Guests, who were played very tightly.
...did I mention Mind of Asian were adorable?


Sunday
Mad props to Goucher's Max L and Miriam C for booking Baltimore's own Wham City to perform their spectacular adapted-for-the-stage rendition of Jurassic Park, They Should All Be Destroyed, at Goucher.


DIY lighting, MIDI sound, a bazillion costume changes, a long-haired white guy playing Samuel L. Jackson and simultaneous consumption of raw meat and eggs combine to form an earth-shatteringly fantastic and funny homebrew production. Not even a lame fire alarm and the subsequent (and brief) mass exodus of the audience and cast could stop the troupe from putting on an enthralling show. It was also their last, and dedicated to Michael Crichton.

Sorry about the lack of stuff- DF the CH, Episode II

I was abroad in Israel for most of August and am only just now settling into my first real week of school. I've been jonesing to post this release for some time-- certainly one of the most crucial records to ever come out of Bainbridge Island, Washington, along with the Rickets' back catalog and perhaps the Humanoids' sole demo. Yes, this is the mighty MLB/Pantophobics split CD entitled Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Diet Soda.

At the time of release I was twelve years old and knew approximately nothing about music; instead of investigating the local scene, I was content to listen to mainstream rock radio, where crap like Korn were all the rage. I first heard about the Pantophobics from Justin Morgan, their drummer, who was an upperclassman at my middle school/high school. One hell of a funny guy, and one hell of a drummer; his bandmates Zach Lewis (guitar/vocals and also bass with MLB) and Ed Morales (bass/oi oi ois) were no slouches in performing the band's lackadaisacal indie rock, but even on the split's shoestring recording quality one thing is remarkably clear: Justin is fuckin' slamming the skins.

MLB were Maurice's Little Bastards. I first heard them when Justin popped their debut CD Greatest Hits into the computer next to mine in the school library one afternoon and told me that "you haven't heard punk until you've heard these guys." Seeing as how, at that point, my closest experience to punk was Green Day, he was right on. They open this album with what sounds like both bands emulating idle crowd chatter, puncuated by singer Justin Maurer intoning, "Welcome to Winslow, Baaaaainbridge Islannnd." From there, it's nine songs of off-the-wall lo-fi hardcore punk that sounds a whole lot like the Germs only with thumpy cardboard drums and lyrics about "[finding] a safe haven from my teenage anguish and hormonal induced deception" ("Ridin' On Out") and "endless proliferation of selfish materialism" ("Neon Brigade"). I really wish I'd been able to stay long enough at the Teen Center to see them play one spring Friday night, but my parents insisted on picking me up for dinner....MLB were known for their wild live set, and for Justin getting naked mid-song and remaining so for the duration of the set. Shucks...

Meanwhile, I did get to see a set by the mediocre Criminy and the totally awesome Pantophobics. They played a bunch of tunes from the split and their first song ever, a cover of Weezer's "The Sweater Song." For my first show ever, it was pretty awesome and so is their set of songs on the CD. The tunes are solid for what they are, but Justin's aforementioned powerhouse drumming really breathes life into everything. Zach's drawl has its own sort of catchiness, I suppose.

This album is quite clearly a work of friends having a blast together in the crummy studios they cut the songs in–– the bands' musical styles are quite disparate, to say the least. But this is one of those records that, for the better, sounds a lot like high school. Enjoy.




Maurice's Little Bastards/The Pantophobics- Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Diet Soda

Where are they now?
Justin Morgan is a bigtime cyclist and did some European circuits or something. He worked at the local bakery for a time. I thin he also might be in community college or the U of Washington now.
Zach Lewis went to college, if I recall correctly, after all the dudes graduated in 2002. His younger stepsister Leah was in Bainbridge punk band Bad Otis (featuring future Kalakala, Degania, and Helen Killers members), who named themselves after a Pantophobics song of the same name from this very record.
Ed Morales I have no idea about, and that's sort of fitting.
Justin Maurer moved to Portland and formed the Clorox Girls. After roughly ten million rhythym section changes, he's moved the band to London. I had the great pleasure of meeting him at a birthday show the band played on Bainbridge in July 2006. As everyone had said prior, he was about the nicest person ever and gave me an old 7" MLB recorded with their buddies the Shutups.
Sean "the" Roach, who drummed for MLB for a time and on this album, now lives in England as well and plays in Mayday Lewis.
I don't know anything about the MLB guitarist at the time, "Dequine" Fletcher.

Vinyl Treasures

As the title suggests, what follows are some of my more valuable favorites I've picked out from my LPs. I don't have the most massive collection, but I'm really excited about what I do have. I collect records, but I wouldn't really call myself a "collector" per se because I don't spend massive amounts of money on a single record. As such most of the prized gems from my collection aren't the rarest things out there.

Here are some that have a special place in my heart and/or ears.

My Coroner Collection

A fantastic Swiss technical/progressive thrash metal trio that will surely merit a post of their own on the Squidlair someday. The so-so Noise Records mixing sounds better on these than the remaster CDs I have...Ron Royce's fantastic bass playing comes through quite clearly. I managed to score these from eBay at solid prices; aside from Grin, none ran over 18 bucks.

Top row: 1987's R.I.P.; 1988's Punishment for Decadence (European version with original cover); 1988's Punishment for Decadence (American version with the cover the label put on it...which is cool nonetheless. Skeleton playing a bone with a violin bow! Jimmy Page would be proud.)
Middle row: 1989's No More Color; 1989 maxi-single clear vinyl 12" of "Die By My Hand"/"Tunnel of Pain," both from No More Color; and 1993's Grin, which is the most I've ever spent on a record at $40. I would've never had a chance had I not mentioned on the Atheist forum that I'd give my pinky for it. A few days later, a French guy emailed me about his auctioning off his copy and I pounced. Thanks, Adbhuta.
Bottom row: 1991 "Divine Step (Conspectu Mortis)"/"I Want You" 7" from Mental Vortex; 1988 "Purple Haze"/"Masked Jackal" 7" from the Punishment for Decadence era. Their Beatles cover is monstrous, but their Hendrix cover sucks.

Anyone have a copy of Mental Vortex with the original inners (including the poster) intact? Sell it to me.

My Bloody Valentine- Loveless (2008 Aural Exploits Repress)

As previously established, I love MBV. I also love the color red, and and colored vinyl. This is contains all of the above and is number 390 out of 1000. Sounds gorgeous and looks it, too.

Heresy- Face Up to It! (First Canadian pressing)

Heresy are another band I have Tony Pence to thank for getting me interested in. The band were a bunch of Birmingham lads who, along with Napalm Death, ushered in a new era of speed in extreme music. I bought this after buying the reissue of it. Despite the sound differences (the reissue sounds as good as they could make this lo-fi album), this was a fantasic investment. The original pressing contains a little folded sheet not only containing lyrics but also singer/lyricist John's explanations of his songs. He's quite articulate; grindcore, while a genre I often dig, isn't really known for profound thought, but he has a lot of good things to say about a lot of different issues.

According to bassist Kalv, they licensed this record to be pressed in Canada at the same time they pressed it in the UK– and the guy heading up the operation never got back to the band after going ahead with the whole shebang and only sent them a few copies.

Iron Maiden- Live After Death

Iron Maiden need no introduction. This was the first album I ever bought on vinyl, and is basically the best live metal album ever. It has some great tour photos in the inner sleeves, and seeing Derek Riggs art in LP format is like watching your favorite epic movie in IMAX. I'm seeing Maiden this Monday night, and they'll be playing a setlist very similar to this one. Can't wait.

Smashing Pumpkins- Siamese Dream (First pressing)

Tied with Coroner's Grin for the most I've ever spent on a record at forty bucks, also from Tony at Celebrated Summer Records. The current reissues are on orange as well, but not marble orange as both LPs here are. So delicious is the shade of orange that I think of it as something more along the lines of "Siamese Dreamsicle."

Ali Akbar Khan- Ragas of India
I don't know if this is rare or not, but I have an unconditional love of Indian classical music. This was found and bought along with a whole bunch of other stuff for very little at a Rotary auction last year. Khan is/was a very accomplished sarod player and this one-raga-per-side record is very soothing.

Oh, and it has bewbs on the cover. Bonus.

The Doughboys- Home Again
I have also established my love for the Doughboys. The LP of Home Again unfortunately doesn't feature a lyrics sleeve, but the mix sounds much less cramped than the CD version while retaining the sloppy charm.

Nektar
L to R: 1976's Recycled, 1973's Remember the Future, and 1972's A Tab in the Ocean.

Nektar are a fantastically funky prog band with all my favorite textures from that time period- Mellotron, Rickenbacker bass, crooned vocals....I need to throw these on again. My favorite is probably Remember, which is about a blind boy meeting an alien.

Comus- First Utterance (2002 Earmark Records Reissue)
Yes, a repress. This alone was thirty dollars well spent, as it goes for more on eBay and the original will set you back 200, easy.

Comus are a band that will mess with your head, to understate the matter entirely. When I first checked out this album art, my first thought was something along the lines of, wow...will I end up like the guy on the cover?

Then I listened and the answer was a resounding "YES." Let's put on our imagination helms and envision the following: it's 1969. The Moody Blues and Jethro Tull are somehow touring together and, while in transit over a large body of water, crash land on a deserted island in the middle of the open ocean. Scrounging what basic acoustic instruments they could find from the wreckage (the Mellotron is gone, man), they quickly go insane from the solitude and manage to record the results.

That's what First Utterance is like.

Kaveret- Poogy Tales
Last summer, my good friend Alex and I dug through my parents' box of records, which had until that time resided in our garage. Among the mass of LPs we pulled was this- a thinly-packaged white sleeve with a hobo playing hacky sack and a lot of Hebrew letters on it. Alex insisted we play it, and while initially reluctant I finally put it on the turntable. As the music seeped out of the speakers, we were astonished. This wasn't good. It was great. Joyous, wonderfully psychedelic sounds familiar to us from the other '60s and '70s rock we listened to...only this was in Hebrew! It was beautiful and exotic and genuinely happy music.

Turns out my mother had bought the album some thirty plus years ago, when she had worked on a Kibbutz in Israel. Kaveret were huge at the time and she even saw them live.

Apparently this has been reissued on CD. I can't recommend it enough.

Pumping ze Iron und Pumping ze Muzik

Perhaps one of the only times I've made any sort huge resolution in my life was this past winter break. I realized that my class schedule had very open mid-days and I would use the time to hit the gym five days a week and put the days of inconsistent exercise behind me.

And somehow, I've been doing great with it. It's a great rush and clears my head after a long day. With that said, I would never be able to keep it all going without the continuous soundtrack of tunes running in my iPod. What follows is what I listen to to get my heart rate up and ze muscles flexing.

The Elliptical Conundrum

The cardio portion of my workout routine is the elliptical, which is a real convenience for people like me who want to run comfortably instead of actually doing the real thing. What's necessary for me personally, soundtrack-wise, is a set of songs nice and fast but not outrageously so. Slayer's "Angel of Death" still winds me every time I try it. In addition, because I do cardio all five days of the week, I usually want to do a different album day-to-day to break things up.

Quo Vadis- Defiant Imagination
Canadian tech-death metal? Hells yes! Also features the tasteful-but-talented basslines of one Mr. Steve Digiorgio, fretless metal bass master. It's as if they sat him down and said "Okay dude, you know what we're aboot...play some stuff like you did on Individual Thought Patterns." This record never truly lets up from start to finish, right from the locked-in military march of "Silence Calls the Storm."

Quo Vadis- Silence Calls The Storm

Morbid Angel- Covenant
The opening of this record, "Rapture," will have you thinking two things. One, Pete Sandoval is a blast beat machine. Two, I can't believe something this heavy was released by a subsidiary of Sony. This record kills me every time I run...but in a sort of good way. Also, punk kids would hate death metal a lot less if they threw on "Angel of Poison," which basically sounds like downtuned oldschool hardcore with David Vincent's usual rasp.

Morbid Angel- Rapture

Watchtower- Control and Resistance
Forget Dream Theater, forget Queensryche...these dudes are the quintessential progressive metal band. They very audibly sound about ten times as technically accomplished as both the aforementioned groups and with only a fraction of the inevitable '80s cheese factor. Imagine a band with throatshredding falsetto frontman, a bassplayer who was genetically engineered from the DNA of Geddy Lee and Steve Harris, a guitarist who sounds like a cyborg Eddie Van Halen and a drummer who keeps it all together, that would be these guys. Alan Tecchio replaced Jason McMaster on vocals on this album and while more palatable, they still might be a turn0ff to some. Famous shredder Ron Jarzombek (recently seen in instrumental tech trio Blotted Science) has some weird guitar tones on here but also some reallllly strange scales. And Doug effin' Keyser? The most jaw-dropping bass player ever. I've heard plenty of ridiculous metal bassists –take Rainer from Pavor for example– but I've never heard anyone pull off lines, fills, and solos like Keyser does with the power he has. Not only are his fingers plucking at lightspeed, but they're plucking hard. Anyways, this record is full of over-the-top, frenetic, technical greatness and is simultaneously painful to run to because the riffs are usually dependent on individual melodies as opposed to chords, ultimately giving your ears a lot less to "lock in" to and forcing you to listen to every last note. If you like it, then BUY IT.

Stratovarius- Infinite
Power metal is a picky genre for me. What sets Strato apart is the cheesy and fun songwriting and life-affirming lyrics on this record. Throw on "Hunting High and Low" and get past the tongue-in-cheek factor and get pumped when Timo Kotipelto belts "There is no one that I can't outrun." That sums it up.

Stratovarius- Hunting High and Low

Strength Training Tunes
I usually go for stuff that has great heaviness but doesn't get too fast-- midtempo is preferable.

And as such it's only appropriate that I begin with Only Living Witness' Prone Mortal Form album. I've switched my routine up a bit, but I used to do the entirety of my strength training to this. There's nothing like a nice set on the leg press to the steady chug of the title track. Jonah Jenkins' voice alone will motivate you. It also helps that he's a fantastic lyricist. "Slug" is great to do bicep curls to, and "Root" is ideal for the bench press. While the follow up-record, Innocents, doesn't have the same darkness nor lyrical verbosity, there's some great and accesible tracks that also deliver a driving energy: "No Eden," "Deed's Pride," "Strata," and "Downpour" among others. Century Media released a two-disc set of both albums, remastered with additional material. It can be had for about 14 bucks and is more than worth your time and coinage.

Only Living Witness- Downpour

Quicksand- Slip
Quicksand are like Tool minus the pretension and mixed heavily with Fugazi and Helmet. A seminal post-hardcore record full of stomping rhythms and melodic bass breaks and vocals that nicely toe the line of aggressive and catchy. I seem to find myself throwing this one on when I'm doing bent-over rows.

Quicksand- Fazer

That, or
Soundgarden- Badmotorfinger
Overshadowed by the overrated phenomenon that is Nevermind (and I say this as a Seattlite), Badmotorfinger is simply the best "mainstream" rock record to come out of 1990s Seattle. It also proves, along with Alice In Chains' greatest moments, that grunge is a bullshit term. When did Pearl Jam ever sound anything like these guys? When did Kurt and company, for that matter? The lyrics are often absurd, there's out-of-nowhere sax usage, there's a love song, and there's some downright bizarre riffs. Hardly your standard 1990s hard rock fare.

I digress. This record is loud, metallic, and positively balls-out. Try doing a nice, long set of slow ab crunches to "Jesus Christ Pose." Burns, don't it? Yessir, just like Chris Cornell's vocals do in your ears. In a good way.

Soundgarden- Room A Thousand Years Wide

You Don't Know Them

But they still rule.

This post is about the Doughboys.

Before I delve into sentimental "what the record means to me" waxing and a summary of their career, I want to give a shoutout to mah boy Tony Pence at Celebrated Summer Records. His recommendations never disappoint.

A few months ago I had a jonesin' in me. I'd been playing Husker Du's Warehouse: Songs and Stories record now and again ever since I'd found it on cassette last summer, and couldn't get enough of the Descendents' classic Milo Goes to College. Something inside me was thirsty for punk-based music imbued with melody–and not in the manner of Green Day-Blink-182 crap I'd been subjected to all of middle school.

So I walk into Celebrated Summer one fine Friday and try to explain to Tony the sort of sound I'm looking for. He hardly hesitated before whipping out the Doughboys' second record, 1988's Home Again, on CD and popped it in. It wasn't as intense as the sound I'd wanted to hear, but the conglomeration of the music and the imagery in the jacket completely sold me. In the former department, the lo-fi production grabbed me immediately (in a good way) and everything about the tunes seemed to simply sound honest. In the latter, I opened the sleeve to see pictures of guitarist/lead singer John Kastner doing an insane jump with his Les Paul outstretched. Other guitarist/singer John Cummins was in mid-headbang. Brock Pytel was sweating his ass off on the drums and John Bondhead, crouched with his bass, almost looked like Mike from COC did in the mid-80s. I couldn't help but feel the hair length kinship, even though the dudes' dos were in crusty dreads. To top it all off, they all sang lead in every damn song. Sweet.

I bought Home Again on the spot and I'm still listening to it all the way through these days. Right from the disc's opening seconds, "Buying Time" has you jumping stokedly up and down. There is a whimsical, nonchalant youth about the album that seems to revel in its state of semi-slackerdom. "I don't care/if I never sleep again," sings Kastner on "Never Sleep." "I don't care/if this highway never ends." The record closes with the sole tune Bondhead penned, the ballad "She Doesn't Live There Anymore," a downright charming jam with soft acoustic plucking underneath the usual wash of flanged-as-hell distorted electric guitars. It also features a fantastic simile in the description of the girl Bondhead focuses on: "She had hair just like the wheat in Colorado/and every time we pass those fields I have to wonder/because they're waving there just for me/I can't wait to get back home again and leave."

After purchasing the previous album Whatever (1987) on vinyl and having it mailed home to Seattle (I have no turntable out here at school), I downloaded the album digitally for further investigation. A solid batch of tunes, to be sure. There's certainly more intensity as most of the
record melds a blazing hardcore punk sound with the pop that would eventually become more prominent down the line. Amusingly, the video for "You're Related" reminds me of '90s Nickelodeon. Pssst...click here to check the record out.


As of today, I've got their third record, 1990's Happy Accidents, headed my way on purple vinyl. I'm substantially stoked but haven't been able to find it online yet. With that said, if the songs are a tenth as awesome as they are in this live footage from what I believe to be the tour for the same album in Florida circa 1991, color me excited.





Their next full-length, 1993's Crush, marked a change to a predominantly powerpop sound. "Shine" was evidently a Top 40 hit while I was still in preschool. After this record, Cummins was the latest casualty of the band's semi-frequent lineup changes (the rhythm section from Home Again was long gone) and was replaced by Mega City Four's Darren "Wiz" Brown, who unfortunately passed away due to a blood clot in his brain on December 6th, 2006. According to Tony, the record is still good–better, even– than the band's early material. It can be found for a dollar darn near everywhere...so don't be a moron like yours truly and pay $5.50 for it.

At this time the band was signed to A&M. They put out Turn Me On in 1996 and broke up after touring as the opening act for the Offspring. Their La Muejere demo was reissued in 2003, and I've seen a rare live German tour 7" from the Home Again days on eBay. This band is worth your money.

And now, the band/their crew talk about their cocks backstage.